When the #MeToo movement took off in 2017, Selam Mussie became involved in the global effort to make a difference for survivors of sexual abuse.
Mussie listened to the dozens of women around the world who used social media to tell their stories of survival. She also amplified the voice of her own friends, who came forward with their own testimonies at the time.
“I shared a story of two friends who shared their story of sexual abuse when they were children,” the Ethiopian advocate said. “I shared the story on Facebook to shed light into the problem that nobody talks about.”
The story of Mussie’s friends inspired more women to come forward and share their own struggles.
“That post went viral,” Mussie said. “I ended up receiving a lot of messages from different women, some I don’t even know, telling me they too have gone through such experience, but never told a soul. Most of them felt seen and understood.”
Three years later, Mussie has launched a platform which aims to break the cycle of sexual abuse, particularly in Ethiopia. The project, known as Kelela for Children, provides various types of resources through its social media channel and website.
“Kelela for Children’s goal is to teach parents, teachers, caretakers and everyone genuinely concerned about children about methods of prevention and intervention,” Mussie said.
Prevention specifically depends on communication.
“It includes breaking the barriers that block the communication between children and parents while living in a society that doesn’t discuss sexual topics and considers it a taboo,” the Kelela founder said.
“These include teaching children about privacy, consent, appropriate behavior, private body parts, etc.”
When it comes to intervention, Kelela highlights two components. The first part is focused on learning to read the signs of a child who is being sexually abused.
“There are both behavioral and physical signs that can be noticed or seen which most parents (in our context) don’t know or are often drowned out because of cultural contexts,” Mussie said.
The advocate points to the example of African children who are scolded for refusing to sleep in the same bed as relatives.
“This could have been a visible behavioral sign that the child was telling us she/he is not comfortable, but because they are either scared or don’t have the language to articulate their needs, the needs go unheard,” Mussie said. “But if a parent is informed about this, they can easily investigate the issue and find out if there is something going on or not.”
The other part of intervention is “learning about what to do if our child is being sexually abused.”
“So what are the immediate things we can do as a parent or caretaker?” Mussie said. “What are the legal and medial steps we can take, etc?”
When Mussie came up with the idea for Kelela, she wanted to “let the concept brew inside her head first before launching.” By November 2018, she was ready to start the project.
“But I wanted it to be owned by all the women who inspired the whole idea,” Mussie said. “Their stories are sad but their resilience and courage to tell their stories – whether in public or privately is something remarkable and commendable. This includes women who never told anyone, but have been down that same road.”
So what does it mean to let the women own the project?
“I mean being involved one way or another,” Mussie said. “I wanted it to be owned by people who truly care about this and want to make a change.”
The advocate shared the vision with a few people around her who became interested in helping develop the project, setting up a team composed of a psychiatrist, psychologist and a lawyer. Mussie then partnered with a communications agency to design her materials and website. The next step was to find volunteers who translated the information to six different local languages.
Kelela for Children now stands under the umbrella of Kelela, which aims to tackle other issues outside of sexual abuse.
“When it comes to Kelela the platform, the bigger picture is to keep identifying other problems especially focused on gender based violence and women’s right topics,” Mussie said. “If things go as planned, our reach will be continental. We will use Kelela as an umbrella platform for many others who would like to do similar works in the topics I mentioned.”
Kelela for Children has provided a 28-page guidebook on its website, detailing prevention and intervention methods for sexual abuse. Mussie and her team also plan to hold more campaigns and awareness creation activities about the different topics they aim to cover.
In addition, the project brings forth stories of survivors.
“We wanted to have real life stories of adults who survived sexual abuse as children,”Mussie said. “Stories have power and they are much better than stats in the way they speak to people’s hearts, so we chose these stories to accompany our guidebook. so readers will understand the magnitude of the problem in addition to understanding the consequences these incidents have in adult life.”
Having graduated with a master’s degree in Gender and Media studies, Mussie has served in various journalism positions and learned how she can use media to make a difference. Her vast resume includes experience as a media and communications consultant specializing in social change as well as focus on social behavioral change communication strategies, gender sensitive media guidelines and conflict sensitive journalism.
Mussie said her education contributed to how she “understands media and the ways in which it functions in society.”
Equipped with that knowledge, the media professional is moving forward with what she calls “a passion project.”
“This was our process to arrive here today. It took us a total of 2+ years to be here,” Mussie said. “Kelela for Children is a passion project that brought incredible professionals and social change makers together who were willing to exchange their skills and time to something they felt strongly about.”
Sexual abuse has been an increasingly concerning topic in Ethiopia during the pandemic as children spend more time at home. In an effort to bring attention to the issue, organizers of the #metooethiopia movement started a petition and highlighted the reasons for their concerns.
In the letter addressing Prime Minister Dr. Abiy Ahmed, the advocates described themselves as a group of “men and women who have been directly or indirectly affected by the physical, psychological and social trauma of sexual violence in the Ethiopian community.”
“We are the brave sisters and brothers who have shared our stories and those who have read their heartbreaking experiences and therefore stand in solidarity with them,” the group stated. “There is a lack of awareness and open conversations in our schools, work places, media outlets and community as a whole.”
According to BBC, The Women and Children Affairs Bureau in Addis Ababa said more than 100 children in the country have been raped since school closed because of the pandemic.
“Child sexual abuse is one of the most rampant problems we have in every society and the consequences are really grim. The impacts will follow for a very long time and at times even for a lifetime unless treated,” Mussie said. “We need to break the cycle at some point. There could be many ways to do that and creating awareness and blowing the whistle to break the silence is very necessary.”
When survivors reached out to Mussie three years ago and shared their stories, the Kelela founder said she noticed similar testimonies about parents who have no idea what’s happening to their children.
“When I started getting all those messages added with all the stories I know because of my work and engagement in such topics, it made me see the patterns more clearly. Parents have no clue — unless they are the perpetrators,” Mussie said. “That ‘no clue’ includes not knowing how to prevent these things or not knowing how to read the signs when their child is being abused.”
The advocate said survivors feel isolated when they struggle to share their stories, making them feel like nobody else is facing the same struggle.
“This also creates a space for self blame,” Mussie said. “Because perpetrators often use different manipulation techniques to convince you, you consented to it.”
With the launch of Kelela, Mussie is striving to encourage more survivors to speak out on a prevalent issue.
“Sexual abuse starts at a very early age especially among women and almost all of us have gone through such things, but we never talk about them because they are taboo in our society and community, which creates the delusion that we are alone and it is happening only to us,” Mussie said.
Kelela, which is an Amharic word describing the act of covering or protecting something, has a deeper meaning in the context of Mussie’s mission.
“The essence of the word is filled with empathy and care,” she said. “It is not paternalistic.”
Empathy is supposed to aid in the healing process as survivors face a long road to recovery.
“The process to heal and move on becomes nearly unthinkable or the hardest challenge one ever faces in life,” Mussie said. “This is because such traumatic experiences in childhood often end up manifesting themselves in adulthood. You may forget about it during your younger days but as you grow up, they will resurface.”
When it comes to boys facing sexual abuse, Mussie said she doesn’t have data to easily trace the number of cases, but the topic isn’t talked about because males also face unique challenges in speaking out.
“Men are not encouraged to talk about their feelings and trauma which makes it hard for them to share their stories compared to women,” Mussie said. “This doesn’t mean women find it easy to tell their stories, but the society has normalized sexual abuse against women and girls, so it is less of a taboo than sexual harassment against boys and men.”
Mussie said the fight against sexual abuse is a long term goal and it requires more than one method, but there are many organizations and individuals doing their part, striving to put out fires against gender based violence.
“We’re trying a direct grassroot approach to teaching the parents, guardians, caretakers, etc…in general the community that cares,” Mussie said. “What Kelela does is just add to the already existing bucket of solutions currently implemented by different stakeholders.”
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